Your favorite backup isn’t that mini-Glock you’ve got on an ankle holster, it’s your baby! Your baby is your favorite backup weapon! You know why? Because they’re just so gosh-darn cute. Who needs a bulletproof vest when you have a baby? Only the most hardened psychopaths will shoot a baby, but you’re chances of running into one of them is slim. In addition to the cuteness factor, no one will want to come near you when Jr’s diaper needs to be changed. It’s the ultimate backup weapon, and we’ve made the penultimate funny Onesie.
Hopefully you had more than one child, or else they aren’t a backup—technically speaking. That’s like having a single Beretta 9mm and saying it’s your backup weapon. No, it’s really the only weapon you have. Just like it’s a smart idea to have multiple children, just in case one doesn’t turn out the way you want them to. Oops, buy this funny baby bodysuit.