This Hello I'm New Here Romper is like you’re attending some sort of 12 step program or it’s your first day at a humiliating, meager-paying job. Life is kind of like those things but a gigantic version of them. It’s a place where you bust your ass and come up with just lint and pocket change. Where you’re maddening lack of progress leads you to substance abuse, a descent into madness, and then finding faith in a higher power. Granted this last part doesn’t always come about, but you can count on being driven mad. Welcome to life, little guy.
Hello, young one and welcome to this thing called “life”. It’s one long disappointment after the other with some good moments thrown in just to get your hopes up before they’re shattered again. It’s torturous, by that’s the human condition. Maybe someone can explain all this to you when you’re older, but in the meantime, just suck on that pacifier and enjoy this funny baby bodysuit.